In the US, much of the complaint coming from religious people about being religious is that “we” (in the US) tend to “compartmentalize” our religion. As if that’s a bad thing. Look at the Middle East for an excellent example of non-compartmentalized religion. Do you actually think the US would do a better job?(If you do, share your thoughts in the comments section.) (more…)
Recently a Facebook friend lamented about his privacy having been breeched in an area he deemed “none of your business”. To me, the fact that he announced it on Facebook was ironic. Moreover, he, whether he intended to or not, probably moved a few of his friends to take a moment to find out what all the fuss was about. After all, what’s five minutes if you know where and how to look?
Not smart. Not smart at all.
Which leads me to ask, what is private? Not much, but this is not a recent occurrence. Our privacy has been diminishing since the 1930s and now it’s easier than ever to find out most anything you’d like about someone; particularly the stuff you would prefer not be found out.
If you are interested in a house, you can find out whatever you’d like, including all the owners, major improvements (that have been legally done), and how much it is worth. You can also find out about foreclosures, sheriff sales, and whether someone was killed or died badly in the home. It’s all part of disclosure and most, if not all is free for the asking (or googling).
If you want to hire someone, or even if you are merely curious, you can find out if someone tends to break the law, whether they pay their bills, or if their resume is accurate. That information is also mostly free, or available for a small fee.
So how do you keep that information from prying eyes? Newsflash! The commoner has never been able to do that. It’s nearly impossible to do it now.
For example, recently I had someone, who fancied himself a troll, trying to engage me on Twitter in a discussion he obviously had no experiential knowledge about. His was a philosophy based on his own world view, which didn’t necessarily line up with the facts and reality of the situation. I pointed that out to him. So he tried to wow me with his credentials, which (unfortunately for him) were overstated. How did I find that out? I googled him and found his profile on Linked In. I had just enough information to be able to find him in under 5 minutes. Another five and I could have run a poor man’s background check. Scary? Heck yes. Nevertheless I stopped him dead in his tracks and hope he learned something like: It’s really a bad idea to lie about your credentials when you are going to seminary. UPDATE: This person truly is a creep. I’ve blocked him on Twitter and he tries to leave a comment here about how he doesn’t do Twitter often and that I didn’t stop him. Duh. Try not doing it at all. The world will get along just fine.
Back to my Facebook friend with the privacy issues. It will do no good to suggest to him that the best way to protect one’s privacy is to have nothing in one’s past that has gotten one arrested or sued. It’s too late for that. However, the next best thing is to avoid arousing curiosity. It’s also a bit late for that. But the real kicker in the whole thing is that he’s blaming someone for nosing in what he thinks is his business alone; business which exposes him as a liar and a hypocrite when compared to his stated values. Having that bit of background adds a certain context into everything he says.You can almost see the stories he tells himself to avoid the cognitive dissonance. For me, it just adds an entertainment factor to everything he says.
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If you see any of those sentences in an email sent to you, on Facebook, or anywhere else you hang out online, visit an online hoax place. Take your pick from one on this list.
Today, thanks to my friend, Monica, I was reading “Five Great John Hughes Moments” on the day he died (which, for whatever reason has had four of the moments cut out of it) and experienced one of those aha moments.
What if it all came true?
It depends on what “it” is. In the context of the above mentioned article, it’s where the girl finally gets to interact with the guy of her dreams.
If you are squeamish, don’t read the letter in the picture. It is a mean, vicious letter to a family that has enough to deal with in their lives.
The family has a 13 year old autistic child that appears to be non-verbal and low functioning. I have an autistic grandchild who lives with us that is 5 years old, non-verbal, and low functioning. His mom has MS and is getting worse. I’m getting older.
It is very hard to steer these children into appropriate activities. The tendency is to engage in repetitive behaviors that are annoying. When they are redirected, they tend to fight back, sometimes aggressively. Leaving them to their own devices means they tend to wail, scream, run, and bang into stuff. My grandchild likes to remove clothing and smear feces when she’s not climbing, jumping, walking the deck rail, eating plant life, or eating and drinking someone else’s stuff. Never a dull moment.
We (presciently) planted trees all around our back yard when we moved in 2 decades ago, which is fenced in. While the trees provide a visual screen and maybe even a sound screen, I am very aware that we are noisy – and she is sometimes naked. My granddaughter’s first name is often the first word out of my mouth, followed by “Don’t!” or “Stop!”, or “Get down!”.
We are probably not considered the best neighbors. But I have had worse. None of which moved me to send an anonymous letter to them telling them what a pain-in-the-butt it is to have them as a neighbor. I have never suggested (out loud or in print) that anyone was better off dead. Some things are better left unsaid.
I am well aware that my granddaughter may never be a “contributing” member of society as is commonly thought of, and I mourn that. But my granddaughter has also caused me to reconsider what constitutes “contributing”. If anything, she contributes to society by making others thankful they have normal kids. She does a great job of keeping food and drink out of the pool area of our neighborhood pool by helping herself to those things (since we have a no food policy, I don’t do much to stop her). I have become much better at putting things away and simplifying our lives. I have a much clearer idea of what is important and what hill I’m willing to die on. I’ve also learned to say no and not feel guilty. There is only so much I can do and the family comes first, and then I need my rest.
Life is messy even in the best of circumstances. I’m not asking you to walk in my shoes, I’m just asking that you show a little compassion while I walk in my shoes.
If you’ve read the headlines this week, a clear pattern of federal government behavior by elected officials, appointed cronies and career employees has emerged that can be grouped into three categories: Liars, Priers, and Deniers. (more…)
Back when I was young, there was a racially motivated “joke” that centered around whether all people entering heaven would be equal. The punch line was that St. Peter gave the person of color a much harder word to spell – Albuquerque. (more…)
There is an Obama ad floating around where some girl compares voting for Obama like an ideal”first time”.
Really.
Is that what we’ve come to accept as “presidential”? I hope not.
Let’s look at “first time girl”. She’s talking about how great your “first time” should be. You gotta love the comparison. Let’s get real here. “First Time” happened four years ago. I get it. You hoped that the guy was great, after all, that’s what he kept telling you, but let’s face it – back then you hardly knew him. He talked a great line. He was smooth. He was good-looking. He was popular. And he made you feel special. There was something “other-worldly” about him. Something almost mystical. So you took the plunge and let him have his way. After he had his way, he got up and went about his business, which didn’t include you. You gave him what he wanted and you’re still waiting. But you don’t want to believe that he will never do what he promised. You don’t want to let yourself believe that you could have been used like that. But honestly, you’ve had fours years to figure out it ain’t gonna happen. He’s just not that into you beyond what you can do for him.
The reality is that the guy swept you off your feet and on your back, but do you really want to let him have at it again given his track record? One of the things I’ve learned is that getting swept off your feet is rarely mutually beneficial. In this case, this infatuation and it’s projected outcome will adversely affect generations to come.
This guy, who broke nearly every promise he made (real and implied) except his personal vow to dismantle our republic for perceived crimes against third world countries, has returned four years later with a promise to move “forward”. Whatever that means. He’s not been real clear about that. My experience is that when someone wants to move forward without taking a hard look at where they are and how they got there, it’s just happy talk. What he tells you is that if you give him what he wants – again – he’ll move towards that direction that he’s not being up front about. Since he’s being so evasive, isn’t it time to think that past behavior is probably an indicator of future behavior? In a sane world it is. What he wants is for you to remember him the way he told you he is, not the way he really is.
Face it, it hasn’t been a great “first time”. Not even an OK first time. It’s been one of those first times that if you’re honest, shouldn’t have happened. he just wants more time to do what he’s been doing, which hasn’t improved anyone’s life. Letting him have another go at it is not going to change him, but it will change you, and not for the better. By now you should know better. Nobody becomes a better person by fooling themselves, or letting themselves be fooled. You learn by acknowledging your mistakes, correcting the behavior, and moving forward.
Don’t you deserve to move forward?
I am one of those people who remembers things. While this is great when it comes to finding the keys to the car, in other areas it doesn’t serve me so well. There are things I’d rather not remember, yet they are there clogging up my thoughts. Ugh.
Ryan O’Neal mentions in Vanity Fair magazine that he didn’t recognize his own daughter and made a pass at her at Farrah Faucett’s funeral. That had to be embarrassing. How can someone not remember his own child, but the article goes on to say that it had been decades since they had seen each other.
The tongue-in-cheek headline on the WSJ’s front page today made me laugh out loud. The irony of this article is that workgroup printers and copiers at DFAS had duplex (printing both sides) capability when I was there in 1996. Anytime it was suggested that printing on both sides of the paper would save money and actually use the features of a printer or copier, that suggestion was met with derision.